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a secret life

by Hemlock Smith

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    Hemlock Smith's first album, released in December 2002. Reprinted since, but this is the original, very rare cardboard digipak.

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Small Change World, Live @ CCC Festival (May 5th, 2020), Hemlock Smith & les Poissons Autistes: "The Necrophone Sessions", The Ghost Parade, St.Louis (Webcam Version), I can only see the Darkness_DEMO, Medusa EP, By the Grace of Dynamite, and 11 more. , and , .

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1.
LOVE IS HERE TO STAY The moon is bright and I’m wide awake Wandering through the gulf of my mistakes Hours spent shouting with the crows The meaning of it all, nobody knows And I’m sitting here, mumbling through the play- CH Love is here to stay Love is here to stay so the angels say Love is here to stay Love is here to stay so the angels say- Mr. Undertaker, carry me away…. On a silent shore talking to the moss Here I stand alone, nothing gained but loss With the sky so wide like the gates of fear In this universe, oh what a little sphere The lilies in the field slowly fade to grey- CH CH
2.
Superhero 04:13
Superhero Oh my face Tells it like it is The bitter race Against the opposite The velvet cape The relic of illusion A kiss of fate Or a Blizzard of confusion ? Turn on the searchlight— CH 1 I’M A SUPERHERO I’M A SUPERHERO ALL THE TIME I’M A SUPERHERO I’M A SUPERHERO IN MY MIND. A greyish gaze As dull as life itself Lost in a maze Forgotten on the shelf The train of thought Has long left my station All pleasure sought Is only an evasion Turn on the searchlight— CH 2 I’M A SUPERHERO I’M A SUPERHERO ALL THE TIME I’M A SUPERHERO I’M A SUPERHERO OF THE SILENT KIND. Bridge : I never knew what to do with myself To leave the fear behind So human nature finds its own little cell To satisfy the mind If there’s a sky Tell me where to find it I’ll fly so high Disappear from sight Turn on the searchlight— Turn on the searchlight- CH 1 CH 2 <don’t know what to feel/alone in the Batmobile>
3.
ICARUS (FROM BELARUS) Let silence be my wife And loneliness my mother To lead a secret life I won’t need any other My only friend a knife And violence my companion To lead a secret life I’ll find the darkest canyon CH 1 The crest of the wave The glare of the sun I need love - Just like everyone The curtain of rain The weight of the gun I feel pain - Just like everyone Let me go out for a ride Beyond the shade of my sunglasses To lead a secret life I’ll hide out in the masses CH 2 A moment in time The faith of a nun I feel blind - Just like everyone And the absolute Continues to run I feel fooled - Just like everyone BRIDGE And God said to Icarus, be warned If you continue, you’ll get harmed With all respect, said Ike, No Sir I gotta get just a little bit Closer… CH 1 CH 2 And the absolute continues to run And so do I – just like everyone
4.
the muffin song Girl You ‘re a whirlwind In my life Girl You ‘re a whirlwind In my life You blow me apart But then you glue me back together You ‘re like the weather You ‘re changing every day But the blue sky comes your way But the blue sky comes your way But the blue sky comes your way But the blue sky comes your way If I leave The clouds will wear The shape of my face And in the trees The leaves will have The scent of my embrace Should I lie still And silent in a coffin- (just eat your muffin, cos) This is not death I just hold my breath This is not death I just hold my breath To sing a song that ‘s more beautiful than the one before To sing a song that ‘s more beautiful than the one before To sing a song that ‘s more beautiful than the one before To sing a song for you ‘Cause you ‘re beautiful…
5.
HAPPY TO BE SAD Seeing all the cities burning Right outside my window I turn myself to other yearnings That satisfy my soul I feel my hands and fingers moving To hide this face in darkness I’ve gotten tired of hope and youth and I’ll lay it all to rest It’s for the best I’m happy to be sad I’m happy to be sad I can’t compare to other people They’re pursuing shadows My life is not a three mile steeple It’s a mess A dead flat chaos I’m happy to be sad I’m happy to be sad (That’s right…) Ooooh as I withdraw from others Lord have mercy with me I got no pain / I got no brother I got no reason to live I mostly talk to empty glasses But what the hell do they know ? I’m counting dust on photographs and You know I’m not about to blow I’m happy to be sad I’m happy to be sad (That’s right…) I’m happy to be sad Feel sorry when I’m glad I’m happy to be sad Feel sorry when I’m glad
6.
Jonathan, you’re a Ghost 1. Jonathan, you’re a ghost You’re not even here But you’re most – efficient In playing with my fears 2. Jonathan, you’re a dream Floating over dry land And though I sense – some kind of scheme Still I’m drinking sand CH And I know you’re not a seagull But you’re picking at my thigh And I know you’re not a prizebull But those relentless eyes… And I know you’re not an albatross But you’re nailed unto my heart Jonathan, you’re a ghost That’s what you are… 3. Jonathan, you’re a pain Stinging like a bee Once you’re bruised – even slain Still humming in my ears 4. Jonathan, you’re a scar Invisible to the eye You’ve never touched my cookie jar And it makes me want to cry CH 5. Jonathan, you’re a child Too small to be awake You can stay with me a while And I won’t forget the cake CH CH Well Well Well Jonathan, you’re a ghost That’s what you are… Stay where you are…
7.
Tripoli 05:56
TRIPOLI THERE’S NO LOVE FOR ME DOWN ON THE SHORES OF TRIPOLI THERE’S NO HOPE FOR ME UNDER BLACK FLAG IN THE SEVEN SEAS THERE’S NO LOVE FOR ME DOWN IN THE TRENCHES AT GALLIPOLI THERE’S NO HOPE FOR ME A LONELY TRAVELLER’S TAG IS DESTINY CH AND WHEREVER I MAY ROAM WHEREVER MY FATE MAY LEAD ME WHICH WAY THE WIND SHALL BLOW – I DON’T KNOW BUT I GUESS THE ROAD WILL PLEASE ME THERE’S NO LOVE FOR ME DOWN IN THE DELTA NEAR SAINTES-MARIE THERE’S NO HOPE FOR ME JACK KEROUAC WILL NEVER CARRY ME THERE’S NO LOVE FOR ME DOWN IN LOUISIANA AND IN NEW ORLEANS THERE’S NO HOPE FOR ME A LONELY TRAVELLER RUNS ON KEROSENE CH AND WHEREVER I MAY ROAM WHEREVER MY FATE MAY LEAD ME WHICH WAY THE WIND SHALL BLOW – I DON’T KNOW BUT I GUESS THE ROAD WILL PLEASE ME -BUT I RIDE THE TIDE AND BREATHE- -ON THE SHORES OF TRIPOLI- (repeat ad libya)
8.
HAUNTED WEEKEND My room is jammed with silences And black holes full of lies So I bought myself a calendar To watch the days go by The young girl on the photograph Smiles into my room No more nights of gloom – she says CH And if you don’t love me Monday Maybe Tuesday you will And if you don’t love me Wednesday On Thursdays I’ll be still But I’ll be back to haunt you From Friday night till Sunday afternoon I feel so lonely in this town I haven’t talked since X-mas day I prefer to have those ghosts around They’re always going my way The young girl with the friendly laugh Illuminates my doom No more nights of gloom – she says CH Come Monday Come Tuesday And if you don’t love me Wednesday On Thursdays I’ll be still But if you stick to me boy We shall have our haunted honeymoon Watch the days go by Watch the days go by
9.
Start 05:29
START Lying awake at night Distorted by fright Just a second before the fall That awaits us all The shadows beneath the light Are searching-alright And every move of mine is just a crawl And no use at all CH I’LL TEAR IT ALL APART THE BLOSSOMS OF MY HEART I’LL TEAR IT ALL APART IF THERE’S AN END THERE IS A START The vision of endless plight Is hovering like a kite As my body hits the frozen ground The worms make no sound CH THEY’LL TEAR IT ALL APART THE BLOSSOMS OF MY HEART THEY’LL TEAR IT ALL APART IF THERE’S AN END THERE IS A START If there’s an end there is a start If there’s an end there is a start Leaf after leaf – Torn Apart If there’s an end there is a start If there’s an end there is a start If there’e an end there is an end.
10.
She's Gone 04:17
SHE’S GONE Burn Down the Wall of China Cremate the Kremlin please Don’t wanna sit here in this Diner And see the world so well at ease Demolish the mighty pyramids Tear them down stone by stone Don’t even talk to me ‘bout happiness Now that my Love has Gone… CH My Baby’s Gone Gone Gone Yeah she’s Gone My Baby’s Gone Gone Gone Yeah she’s Gone Melt down the Eiffel Tower Flood Athens and its Hills Just wanna sit here in the Shower And wait for the water bill Shoot down the sacred Caravan Throw the Emperor from the Throne Don’t even talk to me ‘bout suntan Now that my Love has Gone… CH CH + CH Stop…the World Stop…the World She’s Gone She’s Gone to Cairo, She’s Gone to Peking She’s Gone to Heaven, Didn’t leave me a thing
11.
THIS PART OF TENNESSEE The bullets fly so heavy That I might go insane The only chance of survival Is an umbrella for the rain And a heavy dose of whisky for the pain My coffin’s made in Taiwan Here they just couldn’t meet demand I’m sweating like a chicken Sizzling in a frying pan And my blood is bound to color all the sand CH It seems that everyone now wants to be The quickest gun in this part of Tennessee This used to be a movie With Clint Eastwood or Stallone Now I don’t put out the garbage And I don’t go out alone And 911 just won’t pick up the phone The anchor says on TV Every day’s St. Valentine But I don’t even hear the gunshots The past flickers in my mind When the cowboys wouldn’t shoot you from behind CH CH (repeat) This part of Tennessee This part of Tennessee (I never listen to 10CC, ‘cause I live in Tennessee)
12.
Superhero vs. the Invisible Inc. JE T’AI ECRIT DES POEMES DE MEPRIS ET DE CRACHAT DE SENTIR QUE JE T’AIME JE PUE LE CELIBAT EIN MONUMENT AUS LIEBE MIT EINEM HINKEBEIN SKLAVE ALLER TRIEBE UND DOCH KALT UND HART WIE STEIN I’LL SEND YOU ALL MY LOVESONGS I’LL CARVE THE WORDS OF HATE I’LL LET YOU DRIVE MY CARBOMB I’LL AXE THE HAND OF FATE BURN THE CHAMELEON ! (BE SILENT OR BE GONE !)
13.
The Unbearable Silence of the Clams Joey went to the supermarket to buy some groceries for the weekend. While shopping, he kind of had that strange sensation that something was terribly wrong… In the seafood section, he noticed that the shrimps that day were so red that they looked almost angry, and then, suddenly, he heard a silent cry, somewhere in-between the whisper of dead meat and the voice of God. He turned around and saw 27 pounds of clams mouth their unearthly demand in unison : they were no longer willing to open to the chef’s suggestions… At that exact moment, Dorothy, the assistant sales clerk came running towards him, her face white like a dead albino. She screamed and moaned and gargled at the same time but finally managed to tell him what he already knew : a bunch of guerilla vanilla yoghourts had gone berserk and blocked all the exits. They were trying to start a revolution because they could not bear listening to another second of dumb elevator music, for the main reason that they had never even been in one… Joey knew at that time that they were fucked. He left Dorothy and headed straight for the sweets and cookies. There, he started opening giant-sized marshmallow packages and set all the prisoners free… Maybe, he thought, they would let him live…
14.
Steam 05:11
STEAM On the first day the ship advanced quietly and only the Gulls screamed against the sky On the second day the winds began to howl and the Sea began to roll Knuckles white like the Crest of the Waves CH I’m losing Steam And my batteries are worn I got a leak that sends me out fighting Hands against the Storm… <and on the third day> On the third day everything was chaos and disorder the Engine moaned like a dying swan <and on the fourth day> On the fourth day when everything seemed to be lost there Over Neptune’s mouth I saw the Island CH Those waves of trouble Out of Order / Out of Scale Time is a white whale CH CH Hands against the Storm I’m losing Steam…
15.
NO RETURN, NO ESCAPE In the eyes of my brothers I see boredom and fear Shed our tears well in hiding When noone is here On these barren wastelands We built houses of stone To protect from the dark and To forget we’re alone No return, No escape Stick a holiday poster On wallpaper so old Yet the dust on the carpet Was never silver or gold No return, No escape Dig the drone of the TV All the noises and rage If our howling comes easy It is because of this cage No return, No escape Light the candle of love songs Under neon so cold Come to terms with our feelings Just before we get old Dream of fame and of fortune That may well come soon Make a stone float on water Throw a rock on to the moon No return, No escape
16.
MY LIFE IS LIKE A MOVIE My life is like a movie The action never stops I’m screaming like a baby On a 007 parachute drop My life is like a movie The love scenes are all fake If I kiss her well then maybe She’ll let me have some cake CH My life is like a movie And I’m the star It’s a jollygood production Le Film du Désespoir And if I die and go to hell I’ll write myself a sequel… My life is like a movie Fun like bubbles in a bath The jokes just keep on coming But you’re the one to laugh My life is like a movie And the drama is so real I might even get an oscar If I’m in another reel CH I’ll write myself a sequel… My life is like a movie…

credits

released December 5, 2002

hemlock smith: a secret life

album facts :

edited, mixed and produced by chris diggelmann with the help of roger duperrex.

recorded during july 2000 in a classroom of the collège arnold-reymond in pully switzerland
except ° recorded at dark sound studio lausanne switzerland between july and august 2001
°° recorded at chalet la chotte vers l’église switzerland in april and september 1998
°°° recorded at dark sound studio lausanne Switzerland in june and july 2002

edited at chris diggelmann’s home in biglen switzerland whenever possible

mixed on protools at mazzive sound studio nidau switzerland in august and september 2001 with the help of serge christen, except
°°° mixed on protools at mazzive sound studio nidau switzerland in september 2002
(some older tracks were also slightly remixed at that time)

mastered by jean-pierre chalbos at la source mastering paris france in september 2002
edited for mastering by jean-sébastien dupuis at la source mastering paris france

photographs by pierre-édouard monnier
(the b/w polaroids were made by michael’s left hand)

artwork by jean-marc alder




1. love is here to stay <5 :21>
words and music by michael frei 1999
arranged by michael frei, jacques bevilacqua, fabrizio di donato, jean-christophe gallou and gérald rochat
recorded on july 16th 2000 by chris diggelmann
michael frei : vocals, roland juno 106
chris diggelmann : drum loop, percussion, additional drums, synths
françois dufour : bass
jacques bevilacqua : fender stratocaster and guild electric guitars, harmonica
fabrizio di donato : wurlitzer, synths
gérald rochat : accordion

2. superhero° <4 :13>
words and music by michael frei 2001
arranged by michael frei, chris diggelmann and julien feltin
recorded in july 2001 by roger duperrex
michael frei : vocals, programming, roland compurhythm cr-8000
chris diggelmann : programming, samples and drum loop
julien feltin : acoustic and electric guitars







3. icarus (from belarus) <5 :19>
words and music by michael frei 1988
arranged by michael frei, jacques bevilacqua, fabrizio di donato, chris diggelmann, françois dufour and gérald rochat
recorded on july 19th 2000 by chris diggelmann
michael frei : vocals, korg ds-8
chris diggelmann : drums, samples and filters
françois dufour : bass
jacques bevilacqua : fender stratocaster electric guitar
fabrizio di donato : wurlitzer, korg ds-8 synth bass, synths
gérald rochat : accordion

4. the muffin song° <2 :24>
words and music by michael frei 2001
arranged by michael frei and julien feltin
recorded live on july 25th 2001 by roger duperrex
michael frei : vocals, roland juno 106
julien feltin : acoustic guitar
chris diggelmann : synth






5. happy to be sad <3 :58>
music by michael frei, jacques bevilacqua and fabrizio di donato 1998
words by michael frei 1994
arranged by michael frei, jacques bevilacqua and fabrizio di donato
recorded on july 22nd 2000 by chris diggelmann
additional recordings by roger duperrex at dark sound studio lausanne in july 2001
michael frei : vocals
chris diggelmann :drum loop
françois dufour : bass
jacques bevilacqua : gibson sg custom electric guitar
julien feltin : electric guitar
fabrizio di donato : wurlitzer, synths

6. jonathan, you’re a ghost°°° <3 :58>
words and music by michael frei 2002
arranged by michael frei, chris diggelmann, julien feltin and fabien sevilla
recorded mostly live on June 21st 2002 and July 18th 2002 by roger duperrex
michael frei: vocals, Hammond a3 organ
julien feltin: electric guitar
fabien sevilla: upright bass
chris diggelmann: loop. programming, additional synths and samples






7. tripoli°°° <5:57>
words and music by michael frei 2002
arranged by michael frei, chris diggelmann, julien feltin and fabien sevilla
recorded mostly live on June 21st 2002 and July 18th 2002 by roger duperrex
michael frei: vocals, fender rhodes
julien feltin: electric guitar
fabien sevilla: upright bass
chris diggelmann: loop, programming, additional synths and samples, ride cymbal (sampled)
gérald rochat: bass drum and snare (sampled)

8. haunted weekend <4 :05>
words and music by michael frei 1995
arranged by fabrizio di donato
recorded live on july 19th 2000 by chris diggelmann
michael frei : vocals
fabrizio di donato : piano, violin arrangement
isabel neligan : violin
julien sulser : soundscapes

9. start <5 :29>
words and music by michael frei 2000
arranged by michael frei, jacques bevilacqua, fabrizio di donato, chris diggelmann, françois dufour and gérald rochat
recorded on july 21st 2000 by chris diggelmann
michael frei : vocals
gérald rochat : drums
chris diggelmann : samples, noises, percussion, fireworx mod wheel
julien sulser : soundscapes
françois dufour : bass
jacques bevilacqua : fender stratocaster electric guitar
fabrizio di donato : wurlitzer, synths, string arrangement

10. she’s gone <4 :16>
words and music by michael frei 1999
arranged by michael frei, jacques bevilacqua, fabrizio di donato, jean-christophe gallou and gérald rochat
recorded on july 15th 2000 by chris diggelmann
michael frei : vocals, roland juno 106
chris diggelmann : drum loop, synths
gérald rochat : drums
françois dufour : bass
jacques bevilacqua : guild electric guitar
fabrizio di donato : wurlitzer

11. this part of tennessee <4 :23>
words and music by michael frei 1999
arranged by michael frei, jacques bevilacqua, fabrizio di donato and gérald rochat
recorded on july 20th 2000 by chris diggelmann
michael frei : vocals
gérald rochat : drums
jean-christophe gallou : bass
jacques bevilacqua : gibson sg custom electric guitar
fabrizio di donato : farfisa vip 233, yamaha psr-7


12. superhero vs. the invisible inc.° <2 :42>
music by julien sulser and michael frei 2001
words by michael frei 1994/2001
arranged by julien sulser, michael frei and chris diggelmann
recorded in july 2001 by roger duperrex
michael frei : vocals, roland juno 106
julien sulser : drum loop
julien feltin : electric guitar
chris diggelmann : synths

13. the unbearable silence of the clams° <2 :16>
music by julien sulser 2001
words by michael frei 2000
arranged by julien sulser, michael frei, chris diggelmann and julien feltin
recorded in july 2001 by roger duperrex
michael frei : vocals
julien sulser : all loops, synths and samples
julien feltin : electric guitar



14. steam°° <5 :09>
words and music by michael frei and chris diggelmann 1996
arranged by chris diggelmann and michael frei
recorded by chris diggelmann
michael frei : vocals, korg ds-8 frog
roland maibach : upright bass
chris diggelmann : all other instruments, programming and samples

15. no return, no escape <5:30>
words and music by jacques bevilacqua 1985
english translation by michael frei 1998
arranged by jacques bevilacqua
recorded on july 17th 2000 by chris diggelmann
edited and further arranged by chris diggelmann and michael frei
michael frei : vocals, wurlitzer, roland juno 106, distorted wah wah pedal
chris diggelmann : drums, korg ds-8 synth bass, samples and synths
jacques bevilacqua : guild electric guitar, distorted bar chimes
fabrizio di donato : korg m1

16. my life is like a movie <3 :11>
words and music by michael frei 1999
arranged by michael frei and fabrizio di donato
recorded live on july 16th 2000 by chris diggelmann
michael frei : vocals
fabrizio di donato : hammond a3 organ


C hemlock smith 2002
(all photographs courtesy of Pierre-Edouard Monnier)

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Hemlock Smith Lausanne, Switzerland

Hemlock Smith come from Lausanne (Switzerland). Since 2002, they’ve released 7 regular albums with intelligent pop, as well as 2 soundtracks for silent film and 2 collaborations with Noise duo Les Poissons Autistes. Fronted by singer-songwriter Michael Frei, Hemlock Smith's distinctive voice is complemented by a talented band seamlessly blending Pop, Folk, Rock and Trip-Hop Sensibilities ... more

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